PLACES AND THINGS  I HATE

 

I take great pride in being able to protect my owner. This is an inbred trait my ancestors have passed down to me and I take my job seriously. I want to spend my days with you and enjoy your company.

 

PLEASE, do not take me with you to the car wash. I do not like the water, the brushes that scrub the car and revolve around me, the noise or the smells. I cannot tell if this is  good for you, because it drives me wild. Having a heart attack at the car wash is not on my wish list for 2008.

 

I hate the vacuum. I hate the vacuum. I hate the vacuum. This metal monstrosity is no fun to play with. It makes a hideous sound. It takes all the good tasty bits away from my sleeping and eating spots. You use this thing way too much! I hate the vacuum.

 

I hate having a bath. I work hard during the week to acquire a lot of interesting things in my coat. I do not need them washed down the drain. This makes lots of work for me. Now I must start all over and there are some parts of me that are hard for me to reach when all I have are my feet and mouth to work with here. So could we please cut back on all the brushing and bathing going on around here.

 

I hate it when you leave me alone too long. Did I mention I like hanging around with you? This means I like to sleep at your feet, have you play some ball with me, talk me for walks...car rides, trips to Mickey D’s for a cone. So I hate it when you leave me alone too long.

 

I know that we live in the new century and that tolerance is on the lips of everyone. This was not meant to include CATS. This creature is of no good use to anyone. Why you yell at me when I chase it is annoying and is something I really hate. This is my purpose in life, please let me live it.