I LOVE SHOPPING AT WalMart*

 

Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina Dog Chow at my local WalMart for my dog. I was about to check out when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant?

 

Since I had little else to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn’t have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn’t because last time I ended up in the hospital. On the bright side though I’d lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of every hole in my body and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially the perfect diet and that the way it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to add here that practically everyone in the line was enthralled with my story by now.)

 

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food had poisoned me. I told her no; I’d stepped off a curb to PEE on a tire and a car hit me.

 

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard!

 

Wal Mart won’t let me shop there anymore.

 

 

*taken from the internet